Should tying the knot overseas be a private moment between the two of you or a family affair? Andrew Collier looks at the pros and cons of keeping it in the family.

Getting married is a wonderful and moving experience, and most of us want our friends and family there to share it. So we’ll nearly always have them at the ceremony and the reception.But more and more couples are taking the view that while two’s company, two dozen is a party. So they’re getting married abroad and flying their relatives and close pals out with them for the big day – and sometimes even inviting them to share thehoneymoon afterwards!Bringing those closest to you along is a great way of turning the whole event into a fantastic trip, which everyone will remember for years to come.It means you can both enjoy the uniqueness of a wedding ceremony in an exotic location while surrounded by those you care about. And you’ll have plenty of time to relax with them and enjoy their company afterwards.You might choose to bring your children, especially if you’re getting hitched slightly later in life. Or it may be your parents, brothers and sisters, or close friends. Or if you’re really wanting to make it go with a swing – allof them.

Time for togetherness

The critical thing is to make sure that as well as enjoying the company of your guests, you also manage to organise time for the two of you. You’ll want to make sure you have plenty of private moments when you can romance and indulge each other and start to enjoy your new life together.Vicky Skehan, an expert in weddings at Kuoni Travel, says that family weddings and honeymoons are becoming more and more popular: “In the past, couples might have booked weddings abroad to get away fromtheir families, but that’s not the case these days. They see it as an event and they want other people who are close to them tobe involved.”

Big party, small cost!

Kuoni has found that most brides and grooms take a party of about six in total – both sets of parents, perhaps, or especially close friends. But some really push the boat out and can fly out as many as 20 in one go.

What about the cost?

One way of keeping the overall bill down is to opt for value for money exotic destinations such as Sri Lanka and Florida.

Remember that very few wedding couples pay the bill for everyone – that would, after all, cost a fortune. Most take the view that it’s not unreasonable to ask guests to contribute to or even pay the whole bill for their trip. After all, they’re getting the holiday of a lifetime too.

According to wedding planner Claire Oliver the average couple invites 20-50 friends. “Guests need as much warning as possible, especially for weddings in expensive destinations. Most people are happy to pay for themselves and guests come on the understanding that they will pay their own way.”

There are advantages to be gained by flying out as a group – sometimes airlines and hotels will offer a discount on block bookings, and some companies may throw in treats or even a free trip for the wedding couple if the numbers justify it.

Upmarket holiday provider Elegant Resorts’ spokesperson, Angela Jones, says her company can negotiate hotel discounts on a case-by-case basis. “There’s no set policy – it depends on the size of the booking, the time of year and availability. The airlines also have group rates, which we apply for.”

The great escape

How, though, do you get around the perennial problem of enjoying the company of the family but also getting time to yourselves?

“There are a number of ways of doing it – there are no hard and fast rules,” says Vicky. “In somewhere like New York, you’ll probably book the wedding ceremony in an alternative location to a hotel, which means that you can stay in one place and your guests in another.

“You can then enjoy time together in the city or do your own things. Another option is that you could book to get married somewhere like Italy, which isn’t too far away. Your guests might stay two or three days and then fly home, while you and your partner could stay on and enjoy some time alone together.”

Angela Jones offers other potential solutions: “The bride and groom could stay in a hotel and friends and family could stay in a large villa nearby. Quite often the couple will arrive at the destination about a week before everyone else then move elsewhere after the wedding for their honeymoon.”

Familymoons

The luxury Sandals Group resort chain has so many people now bringing their loved ones along for wedding that it has now called these trips ‘familymoons’. Sandals properties are strictly couples only, but its sister group, Beaches Resorts, takes families and even caters for children, so they are ideal. What’s more, you can move between the resorts at will.

Spokesperson Chloe Handy says complimentary deals are available for couples bringing groups, such as a free rehearsal wedding dinner, massage, manicure and reception. “We classify wedding groups as bookings of five rooms or more, and encourage couples to call us for our best available offers.”

Back home

But perhaps the idea of just the two of you enjoying an intimate wedding in a tropical location is the ultimate dream – in which case you can always throw a party for friends and family on your return to toast the new.

Mr and Mrs!

Make guests feel more involved by showing your wedding video and photos. You could even wear your dress again!

To discuss your group booking call the experts, Kuoni, on 0117 927 2009.